Insomnia

This is something that I have no experience with. As a Mom of five kids, insomnia was the last thing I could even think about. Now I wake up regularly, usually at 2:00 AM. It's not just being awake--it's feeling more alert than I do during the day. So what's to do at 2 when the house is chilly and quiet? Lie in bed and wait to go back to sleep--sounds like a good idea, but at that time all of the things to worry about take on added importance and significance. TV is a possibility. We have closed captioning on, so I really don't need the sound to watch it. The sincere people selling stuff are pretty hilarious for a couple of minutes. The two TV shopping channels put stuff on in the middle of the night that no one would even begin to consider buying during the day. Last night they were selling a lint brush--OK and useful--but the demo was amazing. They had a dark suit jacket that someone had painstakingly applied lint to--it was a real work of art! Reading is OK. I've been able to keep up with my Sunday School reading, but what usually happens is that I go back to reread something and I don't remember a thing about it. Talk about going through the motions.
When I got the first diagnosis of amyloidosis and read that it was fatal four to eight months after diagnosis, I almost had a panic attack or meltdown or something. The oncologist gave me some ativan and xanax. Previous to my visit to UCSF I would take a half or quarter tablet of one or the other after I had been up for a while. At UCSF that was considered a big no no. They said to take benadryl. That sort of works, but leaves me fuzzy.
The end result is that I feel like a zombie most mornings. I'm sure it's a combination of lots of things and hopefully temporary. Until then, I just need to deal with it.